Scheduling Adult Time

As any parent -- especially a new one -- I've learned some ways to keep my sanity by carving out some much-needed "me" time. I've done this through trial and error, mostly error. As I'm writing this, my little one is watching Blues Clues and untying my sneakers' laces.

I think our society has this misconception: that moms have to sacrifice everything and not attend to their own needs so that the baby's needs are met.

I disagree.

I believe that when moms take care of themselves and have valuable "me" time, even if it's a half-hour spa bath, then they are better able to care for their children. A physically and psychologically healthy mom is a requirement of being an effective caretaker.

Even since I've become a mom, I've managed to carve out time to do things I love, such as writing and artwork. And, as a single parent, I have challenges in this arena that couples are less likely to have. So listed below are some tips and tricks of how I have managed to have quality leisure time and employ quality parenting.

This may not work for everyone, and some may think this is extreme, but putting myself on a strict schedule is just as important as putting Ari on one. Here are some insights I gained through my brief stint as a parent thus far:

1. As every parent knows, kids need schedules. I put Ari to bed around 7:30-8:00 every night. I then have leisure time to read in bed until around 9 p.m., which is when I go to sleep.

2. I make sure I wake up at 4:30-5:00 a.m. and write or oil paint until Ari wakes up around 6:30-7:00 a.m. I miss oil painting, and while I'd prefer to paint at night and do so more often, I have the energy to do so in the morning these days and must be content to do less painting than I used to.

3. I don't sweat the small stuff. I don't care if she eats sloppily and stains her clothes, even with a bib on. I don't care about messes in the house or on myself. Focusing on such small matters zaps the joy out of parenting.

4. When Ari takes a nap, I sit near her to make sure she's safe, but I take out my laptop and write. If I'm really tired, I'll nap along with her.

5. When Ari wakes, I drop everything to make her my priority. We play, read books, and have a blast.

6. We watch Blues Clues in the afternoon, too, or some other child programming. I used to think TV was no good for kids, but parenting has really changed my outlook on this. By this time in the afternoon, I'm very tired of doing mommy things. I play with her nonetheless and cuddle her lots.

7. While I wash dishes and clean up (after meals), I make sure to make it seem like a game while she's in her high-chair. I put Cheerios on her tray, and I turn around as I do dishes and make funny sounds and facial expressions to keep her laughing. I get the dishes done!

8. Then there's that bedtime routine: bath, baby massage, and in the crib by 7:30-ish. Now I'm exhausted, but I make sure I indulge in a spa bath and other self-nurturing activities.

As you can surmise, I am on leave from work, so work outside of home and day care have not been factored in yet. However, I'm sure it will take time to readjust our schedules after I return to work in late September. I will let you know how it goes.

But one thing is certain: I will make a point of having leisure time. It isn't easy; I've had to give up some things like running in the morning. But I can walk with Ari in the stroller, so that's a nice compromise.

How do you balance parenthood and leisure time? Feel free to leave a comment with some tips and tricks that you use to carve out time for yourself.

Beth L. Gainer is a professional writer and has published numerous academic and magazine articles, as well as an essay on her breast cancer experience in the anthology Voices of Breast Cancer by LaChance Publishing. She writes about medical advocacy at www.bethlgainer.blogspot.com, and her cat Hemi blogs at www.catterchatter.blogspot.com. Beth teaches writing and literature at Robert Morris University in the Chicago area. She can be contacted at bethlgainer@gmail.com and gainercallingtheshots@gmail.com. She also blogs on the adventures of her cats, Hemi and Cosette, at http://www.catterchatter.blogspot.com./.