Parental Thought-Police

According to Dictionary.com:

"spoil

  [spoil] Show IPA verb, spoiled or spoilt, spoil⋅ing,noun

–verb (used with object)

1.	to damage severely or harm (something), esp. with reference to its excellence, value, usefulness, etc.: The water stain spoiled the painting. Drought spoiled the corn crop.

2.	to diminish or impair the quality of; affect detrimentally: Bad weather spoiled their vacation.

3.	to impair, damage, or harm the character or nature of (someone) by unwise treatment, excessive indulgence, etc.:to spoil a child by pampering him."

It's hard enough being a parent, but unfortunately what comes along with this is verbal misuse, determined by parents and non-parents alike. Over the last month, I've talked to countless people about parenting -- asking for advice -- and I hear two camps: "Go ahead and spoil them; you can't spoil them too much," and the critical "You are spoiling your child because she gets everything she needs and wants."

Yes, I'm spoiling my 13-month-old by giving her hugs and kisses when she wants, holding her when she needs comforting, soothing her when she needs it, having her sit on my lap if she wants to, and for being next to her when she's playing independently.

My baby is very attached to me, but isn't that a good thing? Also, considering that she's been attached to her caregivers in an orphanage and in foster care, I think we can be safe in saying she needs a little extra TLC.

Or maybe I should make her put on a business suit and send her to work so she can earn her keep.

By attending to her basic needs, I am not impairing, damaging, and harming her character by excessive pampering, as defined by the dictionary.

Maybe people should read more, so they actually understand the context of the words they are misusing.

Beth L. Gainer is a professional writer and has published numerous academic and magazine articles, as well as an essay on her breast cancer experience in the anthology Voices of Breast Cancer by LaChance Publishing. She writes about medical advocacy at www.bethlgainer.blogspot.com, and her cat Hemi blogs at www.catterchatter.blogspot.com. Beth teaches writing and literature at Robert Morris University in the Chicago area. She can be contacted at bethlgainer@gmail.com and gainercallingtheshots@gmail.com. She also blogs on the adventures of her cats, Hemi and Cosette, at http://www.catterchatter.blogspot.com./.