What impressed me the most about China, besides its beauty and the heart-breaking poverty, was its people. Of all the people I've met, I can honestly say that China has the friendliest, warmest, kindest people. Kinda makes one think, considering the country gets a lot of bad press in the US media for all the communistic ways and lead-in-toys fiasco.
Chinese people would approach me on the street and coo over my baby. They were so helpful, it was mind-boggling to me. No matter where I was strolling my baby, if there was even one step to hurdle through, there was always a Chinese person -- male and female -- to help me by carrying the stroller with the baby in it! They didn't want me to strain themselves and were always my guardian angels.
For the first four days of my adoption journey, Ari was nearly inconsolable -- very understandable for someone who was carted from caregivers she was attached to and carted into a stranger's arms and whisked away into a foreign-looking hotel room.
Ari cried and wailed a lot, often in grief. I coped with it well, so by the end of the trip, she was very attached to me.
During the hard times, though, while Americans were rolling their eyes at Ari and me, laughing at us, or just making rude comments about my "brat," the Chinese waiters and waitresses were picking her up and trying their best to console her. I could tell that they had a fondness for her and managed to calm her.
I can give many examples of the kindness of the Chinese people, but all I have to say is this: They offered me help all the time (including putting me on a direct flight to Chicago because I was a single mother and they didn't want me to struggle any more than I had to), they didn't poke fun of me and my child the way Americans did, and they treated all others with respect and kindness, even though I witnessed piggish, hostile American behavior. I was embarrassed at how rude some Americans were to the Chinese.
When I finally arrived at O'Hare's baggage claim, the American workers were rude and couldn't care less whether I ever got my bags. The two people who offered to help find my luggage and take it wherever I wanted were -- yes it's true -- from China. While Americans who clearly saw that I was one woman alone with a baby refused to help in any way because they opted for selfishness, the Chinese women who offered help were courteous and very kind.
I finally told the first one who offered me help that I was tired of American arrogance and how much I already missed the friendliness of the Chinese people, and she said that in China, the people really try to treat the country's guests with great respect and welcoming arms.
As a single mom with a child who was going through major grief, I am glad I had to do it in China, for without such human kindness, I would feel very alone and afraid. I did miss America a lot and was very homesick at times (the subject of a future blog), but I think Americans can take lessons on courtesy from the wonderful Chinese people.
Beth L. Gainer is a professional writer and has published numerous academic and magazine articles, as well as an essay on her breast cancer experience in the anthology Voices of Breast Cancer by LaChance Publishing. She writes about medical advocacy at www.bethlgainer.blogspot.com, and her cat Hemi blogs at www.catterchatter.blogspot.com. Beth teaches writing and literature at Robert Morris University in the Chicago area. She can be contacted at bethlgainer@gmail.com and gainercallingtheshots@gmail.com. She also blogs on the adventures of her cats, Hemi and Cosette, at http://www.catterchatter.blogspot.com./.
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